The terror of death, and how to overcome it

30 September 2010

The title of this week’s program makes at least three assumptions that deserve to brought into the light of critical reflection:

· That death is terror-inducing.

·害怕死亡是件坏事。

·克服死亡的恐惧将是一件好事。

One can take issue with each of them.

死亡真的令人恐惧吗?没错,大多数人都不想死。但大多数人不会因为死亡的恐惧而四处走动。也许,面对迫在眉睫而又真切的死亡前景的人们——战争中的士兵、病重的人们、日渐衰老的身体日渐衰弱的人们——往往会被克尔克加尔式的恐惧、颤抖和疾病所笼罩,直至死亡。但并不是每个人在这种情况下都会充满恐惧。有些人在面对死亡时镇定自若。当然,并不是每个人,在日常生活中,都充满了这种恐惧。

Be that is it may, for most of us, on a daily basis, the terror of death manifests itself more like a low-grade, but persistent anxiety. We mostly manage not to focus on it, but it’s always there in the background of our consciousness, shaping every aspect of our lives. Sometimes events beyond our control can force this anxiety into the foreground of our thinking and awareness. And then our low-grade anxiety can become an intense horror.

Well then, is terror of death such a bad thing? It actually seems like a perfectly rational thing. Suppose a very evil, very sadistic demon was to tell you that at some unknown future moment, he would appear out of nowhere and cut your arms and legs off. Wouldn’t you be terrified? You might not be seized with intense, debilitating terror at every waking moment. Maybe your terror would mostly manifest itself as a low-level hum of suppressed anxiety. But what would be wrong with that? Something really bad is going to happen to you, something over which you have no control. Don’t you have the right to be terrified?

Still, if you allow yourself to become so terrified that you just sit there worrying about losing your arms and legs, instead of using and enjoying them while you have them, that would be utterly silly --wouldn’t it? It’s the same thing with life! If dread of death drives out your embrace of life, then you’re wasting this precious and precarious gift. Don’t waste your time dreading death, spend your time embracing life instead. So perhaps it’s rational to fear death, but irrational to let that fear get such a grip on you that you don’t enjoy life.

Our third assumption seems to suggest that denial a better attitude toward mortality than the clear-eyed acknowledgement that the boundless nothingness of death awaits us all, that at any moment the dark abyss may open beneath our feet. But isn’t it possible to simultaneously embrace life while acknowledging and facing the reality of death?

We’ve got one the world’s leading psychotherapists, Irvin Yalom, to help lead us through the thicket of issues that surround the topic of death. So tune in.

Comments(13)


Guest's picture

Guest

Thursday, September 30, 2010 -- 5:00 PM

This one has fascinated and appalled me for someti

This one has fascinated and appalled me for sometime. But your article helps, when I thought nothing ever would. I'll tell a short story to clarify my point. Up until my father's terminal illness and death in 1994, he always asserted that he was unafraid. Of anything. I believed him, on some level, but found his bravado difficult to grasp. Then, in or about May of '94, after we learned that he had terminal cancer, certain facts began to surface.
Dad was disappointed with aspects of his life. There were deficiencies, in his view, that could have had better outcomes, had he only been a better man, father and human being. He was the product of parents who had been born in the late ninteenth century---hard times folks with narrowly pragmatic views. That upbringing, coupled with a minimal education, gave him a limited worldview with which to fashion his future and the future of his family. I did not, at the time of his illness and demise, realize any of this on any conscious level. And it broke my heart. Understanding comes better late than not at all.

Guest's picture

Guest

Thursday, September 30, 2010 -- 5:00 PM

Not everyone believes that death leads to nothingn

Not everyone believes that death leads to nothingness. Some believe it is just a change of state. Just a thought.

Guest's picture

Guest

Saturday, October 2, 2010 -- 5:00 PM

Small comment about use of the term "rational" as

Small comment about use of the term "rational" as in above: Strictly and importantly, the propositions, assumptions or premises upon which the stated "rationality" is based should always be clear and understood. For example, "Fermat's Last Theorem" is only now considered 'rational' after several centuries and much effort by Andrew Wiles. (Although I understand all mathematicians strongly believe in such afterlife as to be able to quiz Fermat about the size of the margin that did suffice for his proof!)

Harold G. Neuman's picture

Harold G. Neuman

Monday, October 4, 2010 -- 5:00 PM

I rather imagine that afterlife has little to do w

我想死后的生活和数学没什么关系。我以前也犯过错误,尤其是1956年。但是,我们说到哪了?作为恐怖或启蒙的死亡。还不知道。等我找到了,可能就回不了你了。你永远不会知道…

Guest's picture

Guest

Wednesday, October 6, 2010 -- 5:00 PM

I think of Hamlet who, when thinking of mortality,

我想起哈姆雷特,他在谈到死亡时,把死亡说成是“未被发现的国度”。不喜欢它,这是一个冒险,我们都采取。我认为对我自己(以及许多其他人)来说,死亡的问题并不是不存在的问题,而是我们害怕会导致我们死亡的环境(癌症、车祸、谋杀等)。如果未来是没有痛苦和遗憾的死亡,我想我们中的许多人会以较少的焦虑来迎接它。但是,如果真正的可能性是作为连环杀手的四号受害者结束生命,那么死亡就不是什么值得期待的事情了。或者,至少把它当作一次“冒险”。

Harold G. Neuman's picture

Harold G. Neuman

Wednesday, October 6, 2010 -- 5:00 PM

好点,Kantman。However, inasmuch as we are l

好点,Kantman。然而,因为我们的选择是有限的,因为我们是痛苦的人,有局限性,我们大多数人似乎会死于一些痛苦和/或遗憾,癌症;谋杀和车祸,尽管如此。
我曾经试着读过康德。都无济于事。我也试图解开哈贝马斯的谜团,但对他的话感到茫然。(梳警告我)。贝克尔和后来的丹尼特等人;霍夫斯塔特;在我不知道威尔伯在说什么或想说什么之后,戴蒙德和塔利班对我来说开始有意义了。So, thanks Kantman---and carry on

Guest's picture

Guest

Tuesday, November 16, 2010 -- 4:00 PM

One thing I'm afraid of my life is death. I always

One thing I'm afraid of my life is death. I always told myself If I'm going to die where am I going, is there a new life waiting for me somewhere else.

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